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THE NRI CHRONICLES: A HOMECOMING OF THE HYPOCRITICAL HUMOROUS SORT

By P Mohan Chandran


Ever wonder why the first chapter of the NRI chronicles always begins with a nasal-enhanced accent, closely followed by the sudden discovery of pollution? I mean, why not? After all, the minute you exchange your Indian Rupees for some Dollars, Euros or Pounds, your nostrils apparently transform into high-precision air quality monitors, don't they?


Our friends, the Non-Resident Indians, they fly off to foreign lands, promising to Skype every week and return every couple of years. But when they do come back, oh boy, it's as if the quintessential 'firangi' tourists have taken a wrong flight and ended up in their motherland instead of a luxury European vacation.


The moment they step off the plane, the symphony begins. "Oh my god, it's so hot! How did we live here for so long?" they lament, conveniently forgetting that they once played cricket in peak summer afternoons, with the sun overhead throwing down dares.


As they venture further into the country they once called home, they discover the newfound ability to see dust particles invisible to the ordinary eye. "Oh, the dust, it's everywhere!" they complain, much to the amusement of the homebound folks who apparently have evolved to become dust-immune, thanks to their unwavering loyalty to the homeland.


And let's not forget their sudden keen eye for hygiene. "Did that street vendor just use his hands?" they gasp, in a state of horrified disbelief, as they watch Pani Puri being served. Ah, selective amnesia is indeed a sweet malady. It makes one forget the many roadside chaats and gol gappas savored with so much gusto in their pre-NRI days.


Yet, among this orchestra of complaints, the best is saved for last—the somber monologue on India's civic sense or the apparent lack thereof. Armed with anecdotes from their adopted countries, they launch into lengthy comparisons, turning a blind eye to their own history of treating every street corner as a public trash can.


But let's pause and breathe. Before you categorize me as an 'NRI basher,' let me tell you, I adore them! After all, they do add much-needed humor to our lives, don't they? Without their biennial shock and awe campaigns, how would we, the humble Indians, realize that our ability to withstand 45-degree heat, coexist with dust, and survive street food is actually a superpower?


So, here's a parting thought for our dear NRI friends: When you do come visiting next, could you bring along some of that foreign-made tolerance and adaptability? You know, the kind that helps you adjust to sub-zero temperatures, foreign accents, and food that often resembles cardboard? Maybe it could help you readjust to the sights and smells of the country where you once lived, breathed and thrived.


And for our dear readers, especially our NRI brethren: Don’t you think it's high time to remember our roots and perhaps bring back some of the adaptable spirit that was once an integral part of our Indian ethos? Just some 'desi' food for thought!



Do you think NRIs act differently after leaving India & returning for a sojourn?

  • Yes, they show off and pose a lot & criticize India.

  • No, they are the same & often misunderstood by Indians.



© 2023. P Mohan Chandran. All Rights Reserved.


14062023.

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