By P Mohan Chandran
Have you ever found yourself making a promise, fully aware that you might never be able to fulfill it? Have you ever dangled the bait of false hope to escape an uncomfortable situation? Ever pondered the collateral damage your hollow words could incur, especially in close relationships?
In an age where communication is instant and ubiquitous, we sometimes don't think twice before making promises, providing assurances, or kindling hope in the hearts of others. However, when these words bear no fruit, they breed disappointment, distrust, and discord, putting relationships at risk.
Consider the story of a rich man who once saw a poor man shivering in the cold. With a benevolent heart, he assured the destitute man that he would bring a blanket from his home. This assurance awakened a ray of hope in the poor man's heart, causing him to let go of the mental fortitude he had built against the harsh cold. The rich man, however, got tangled in his daily chores and forgot his promise. When he remembered the next day and rushed to deliver the blanket, the poor man had already succumbed to the cold. The delay in fulfilling his promise, although unintentional, led to a tragic outcome. The rich man's false assurance had a devastating impact on the poor man's psyche, leading to a fatal end.
A tale as old as time, but still relevant today, is the saga of Dronacharya and Drupada from the Indian epic, Mahabharata. As a prince, Drupada promised Dronacharya, his childhood friend, that he would gift him half his kingdom once he ascended the throne. But when the time came, not only did Drupada renege on his promise, but he also insulted Dronacharya, leading to an intense and generational rivalry. Drupada's false assurance sparked a series of events that spanned decades and resulted in an immeasurable loss.
Like the stories of the poor man and Dronacharya, we see numerous instances in our contemporary world where hollow promises shatter relationships and foster hostility. Prominent examples include broken political promises, which often lead to public outrage, disappointment, and mistrust.
However, the most delicate and consequential area where this plays out is personal relationships — between lovers, friends, and family. False hopes in these intimate relationships can create a chasm that may never be bridged. Be it a promise of undying love in a romantic relationship, an assurance of support in a friendship, or the commitment of being there in times of need within the family — when these assurances are not met, it could lead to heartbreak, animosity, and an unending cycle of resentment.
The key to avoiding such tragic outcomes is to be honest and sincere in our communication. We should never use false assurances as a temporary escape hatch. If we find ourselves unable to fulfill a promise, it is better to communicate this honestly and openly rather than allowing the other person to nurture false hopes. After all, honesty may cause temporary discomfort, but deceit can cause lasting damage.
So, here is a thought to ponder: how many times have you given assurances without the certainty of fulfilling them? Have you ever considered the long-term impact of your unfulfilled promises on your relationships?
Remember, your words hold the power to create or destroy, to nurture or neglect, and to unite or divide. Use them wisely and sincerely. For, as the stories of the poor man and Drupada tell us, a false promise or an unfulfilled assurance, can turn the closest of friends into the fiercest of foes or lead to a tragic end. And in our personal relationships, it's a risk we cannot afford to take.
Do you think false promises & assurances can destroy close relationships?
Yes, we should never promise what we cannot fulfill.
No, it has become common to make false promises today.
© 2023. P Mohan Chandran. All Rights Reserved.
24062023
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